Nebula 9 & a half
by Turretwithaview
Summary: When Detective Beckett hits her head during the investigation into the death of Annabelle Collins, loses consciousness and then recovers it, she believes she's Lieutenant Chloe … chaos ensues ….
1. Chapter 1

**NEBULA-9 **

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><p><strong><em>I was calmly writing the next chapter of Moon in Scorpio when this bunny ambushed me. I tried shushing it away, offered it a carrot if it would leave me alone ... even got the shotgun out ... *Sigh! ... Unfortunately it wouldn't leave me alone, so here's the first of a three, four, or five chapter fic, until the bunny comes back with the rest I won't know ... though he ... she ... whatever, did leave me with an idea for the next installment. But I must finish the above mentioned ... I must not digress. <em>**

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><p><strong><em>Chapter 1 - Lieutenant Chloe &amp; the Jabberwockies<em>**

"_Hey, so who's our vic?_" says Beckett as she walks into the mock-up of the space ship

"_Annabelle Collins. She's 28. Looks like she was killed and then stashed in that pod. She's the one that put together this whole Nebula-9 Fan Experience re-enactment thing_" answers Esposito as he turns from questioning one of the 'cast' from the re-enactment.

"_An impressive, if misguided effort_" comments Castle as he stops to look around.

Beckett glares at him as he mocks her favourite sci-fi show and then turns the glare on Espo as the Detective adds, "_With you, bro. Give me Blade Runner. A bleak dystopian future where sexy replicates ride?_" fist bumping with Castle before turning to look at Beckett, "_How about you, Beckett? What do you …_" trailing off at her glare.

"_Have you found next of kin?_" she asks, ignoring the previous comment

"_Actually on my way to do that_" answers the Detective as he sidles past them and Castle and Beckett move farther into the ship to look around.

"_Pearlmutter, good to see you_" calls out Castle in his usual friendly way.

"_Ah, if only the feeling were mutual_" answers Sidney Pearlmutter in his narky tone, barely glancing at the writer. Castle doesn't respond, keeping his face blank.

"_So when was she killed?_" asks Beckett, trying to and succeeding in keeping her face straight.

The ME, straightens up and looks at her, "_Well based on liver temp, last night between 10 and 11PM. The bigger issue is how she was killed_ ..." as he flips open a magnifying glass and holds it over the wound, "_Now, I believe death came by way of this rather fascinating small diameter puncture to her heart_" he adds ready to pass the magnifying glass over to her.

She's about to step up to take it when something on the floor next to the pod, catches her eye. Beckett bends down to check it and realises it's one of the souvenir _Nebula-9_ pins which she carefully picks up and deposits into an evidence bag. As she goes to stand up however, her head hits the side of the pod with a hefty thump, making her stagger a step backwards before collapsing at Castle's feet.

Its several moments before she comes to, a painful throbbing at the back of her head, her body instinctively struggling to get up. A wave of dizziness hits her and she thinks better of it, settling back and squinting up at the shape above her. As her eyes focus she relaxes, realising that it's the handsome Captain Max Castle who's leaning over her … though why his face should be upside down is a puzzle. Deciding to let that matter drop for the moment, she smiles radiantly at him and whispers "_Hello Captain_"

Captain Max is saying something though the voice seems to be off, sounding more like a distorted jabberwocky in an oil drum. It sounds like _ecket_ and _ate_ … she's not sure if the ecket ate something or something's eaten the ecket, and anyway it's much too confusing … especially as his eyebrows seem to have dropped off his face … maybe it's to do with gravity … she wonders if his eyeballs will roll south next as they seem to be precariously close to popping out …

As her mind clears a bit further she realises that he's kneeling above her, holding her head in his lap and that's why his face is upside down as he looks down at her in concern … how sweet. However, there's something bugging her … oh yes, that's it, what is that prissy-faced individual doing checking her over … no way! Only the Captain gets to first base with Lieutenant Chloe!

She pushes him away, well tries to at any rate, bur she seems to be incredibly weak … though her hearing seems to be better now, the Captain's saying something about her hitting her head … though why he insists on calling for a bucket she can't fathom, after all, it's not as if she's going to be sick or anything … and why does he keep pronouncing bucket like becket … her hearing must still be off.

She struggles up into a sitting position with the help of Captain Max … and the prissy character in blue jacket with … yeck! … is that a snake on it? … just a moment, why isn't she in uniform? Or the Captain for that matter, all the others standing around are … so had they been down to the holographic room? Maybe pretending to be some twentieth century gangsters? … oww! her head hurts … and yes, she likes Captain Max, she really does … but she wishes he'd just stop yabbering for a moment … why the hell does he keep saying Kate to her … were they roleplaying earlier, is that it? … and old prissy face with the snake on his chest … why does the Captain keep on about pearl mutters … they don't mutter … in fact they don't talk at all!

Eventually they manage to get her up and into the Captain's chair … the bridge spun a bit on the way, but now that she's settled everything seems to be moving back into place. Everyone seems to be staring at her … but that's ok, the rest of the crew are always envious … everyone except the Captain … who doesn't look bad in that blue shirt and grey jacket … even if she does prefer him in the figure-hugging uniform … especially when he bends down and she's behind him … the memory of wanting to pinch his bum makes her lips curl up, but then she remembers that she needs to be professional, so struggling up to her feet, wavering dangerously, but someone … she thinks it's the snake guy … is giving her a helping hand and the Captain is looking at her worriedly, so as soon as she feels stable enough she throws up a salute, not as crisp as she'd been aiming for, but passable, "_Lieutenant Chloe reporting for duty sir!_"

"_Kate, you're not Lieutenant Chloe, you're Detective Katherine Beckett, you've hit your head and we really need to get you to a hospital!_"

She stares at him worriedly, maybe he's been on that Buyu Juice again, he really needs to keep off that stuff, it does weird things to your brain, not to mention your guts … but if he wants to call her Bucket or Beckett or whatever it is, well ok, she can deal with that till he's sober again … 'cos boy is he swaying! _Oops … shit!_ It's her! And with a startled squeal she drops back into the chair.

It takes a few moment for her to regain her composure, aware that the Captain and Snakeman are talking about her over her head, something about getting a stretcher … she doesn't want a stretcher, she's tall enough as it is! No, what she wants is an hour or so with Captain Blue Pants in the Gravity Chamber … and she's smacking Snakeman's hands away as he tries to fiddle with her hair … _Get your own lieutenant_ she mutters, and then there's a swarthy guy joining them, he looks familiar but she can't place him right now … Espo? … she's not exposing herself is she? A quick check and no, she's good … wearing weird clothes mind you, but neat … and all covered up.

Oh, seems like Espo's the new guy … and what's this _yo bucket_ thing he's on about, as if it's not bad enough having to deal with normal buckets she now has to cope with a yo one? Sheesh!

Nope, she's had enough of this, so she makes it to her feet … sways a bit yep, but this time she's holding it together. "_Take me to my quarters Captain!_" she demands rather petulantly from him, "_I'm going to show you a reee…al good time_" as she sways towards him and almost falls into his arms. There's a snicker from behind her and the Captain's holding her up but looking a bit red around the face … maybe he should get his blood pressure checked … "_You know, you could pop off any moment, and then where would I be?_" she demands slightly querulously.

"_Yeah Castle, you going to pop any time soon?_" she hears

"_I'm going to take a pop at you Espo if you don't give me a hand!_" her Captain growls … oooh! She loves it when he growls … gives her goose bumps all over … in fact she's about to show him but he's being a spoilsport and pulling her top back down … well, maybe the snakeman want to check them out … nope, why has he gone all red as well … huh! … _muss be some type of allergy going round _she thinks to herself.

And now Captain Blue Pants has taken his jacket off … aww … "_You look so cute in purple Captain!_"

"_Yeah captain, purple suits you … you're so whipped!_" sounds like the Espo guy but that thought gets hijacked as the Captain grabs her.

"_C'mon Kate, let's get Lanie to check you out_" … uh? Who's Lanie … she the receptionist? I didn't know we were in a hotel … "_why d'we need to check out Captain?_"


	2. Chapter 2

**_Chapter 2 - Lieutenant Chloe & the Galactic Transport_**

As Captain Max leads her out of the ship she stumbles to a stop at the sight she beholds. All around her are a hundred and one species, from humans to large furry creatures to extraordinary and frightening ones … not that anything can be creepier than a Creaver, but still, one more reason to cuddle up close to the Captain, the thought no sooner crossing her mind than her hands are round his biceps and she's pulling herself close into his side.

"_Whers all these creatures from Cap'n, I thought it was only us and the Creavers!_"

"_Uh … it's a convention_"

"_What's a convention?_"

"_Its when a bunch of people get toge… forget it Kate, let me have the keys to the car_" he says, holding out his hand to her as he leads her out onto the pavement.

"_Ooh Captain, how nice_" she says, putting her hand in his "_but why d'ya keep callin' me 'Crate' … I'm much nicer than one of those … and what are keys .. come to think of it, what's a car?_"

Captain Max is rubbing his hands over his face in what can only be expressed as frustration and leads her over to a dark blue thing that looks like a piece of space junk or the sort of ship that short-assed ensign Kazooki would fly … and Cap'n Max is saying "_Metal things in your pocket to open that door with_", pointing at the lock on the space junk.

With a slightly unsteady rocking, she sticks one hand in her pocket … nothing … then in the other, before a beatific smile lights her face as her hand touches something hard. Pulling it out she waves it at the Captain asking "_Thish it?_" and wondering why he's suddenly gone five shades paler, is gabbling like a Creaver wooshjick and is trying to pull the goddam keys from her hand.

With a sigh of relief he's slipping the … what did he call it … her cock? No, she's sure it wasn't that … maybe 'her Glock` was what he's said, into his own pocket and before he can do anything else she's found something else hard in her back pocket and is trying to press it against the junk pile's lock with a total lack of success.

"_Crate … I mean Kate … Chloe .. whatever, you can't use your badge to open the door_" he says in exasperation and then "_here let me_" and with that the Captain's got his hand in her pants pocket and Lieutenant Chloe is thoroughly enjoying it!

But before she can say anything he's pulled his hand out and is dangling a bunch of little thingamiwhatsits in front of her "_Keys!_" he says very succinctly and rather too forcibly for her liking, turning to point the 'keys' at the galactic poop scoop which suddenly emits a clunking sound that has her jumping back into the Captain's arms.

Now he's grabbing the handle on the thing and suddenly the hatch swings open and she can make out a seat. Following the grumpy Captains instructions she climbs in and looks around, crinkling her nose at the smell of dead Creaver and looking around for the corpse, only Captain Tight pants … she prefers that to Blue Pants … is telling her to put her seat belt on.

Seat belts she can deal with, they have those on the ship, but after as mystified moment of looking around … feeling her own bum in case she's sitting on them … nope … she looks up at him is bewilderment hoping for a hint. Oh, it was that metal thing trying to poke her in the eye is it? How was she supposed to know … and what's he muttering under his breath ... something about Lanie busting his ass … no way! Only she gets to first base with the Captain's ass!

Then he's walking round the outside of the mobile skip she's in and opening the hatch on the other side and sliding into the seat next to her. What's he fiddling with under the seat? One moment he's there … next moment she almost gets a crick in her neck as he shoots backwards and it's only the seatbelt that keeps her from jumping through the roof.

With a slightly apologetic look on his face he's moving the seat forwards again, sticking that 'keys' thing into the flight stick in front of him and next moment the pile of junk is farting like an overfed Creaver storm trooper and the thing's shaking like it's going to fall apart right under her ass.

She sure hopes the Captain knows what he's doing as he turns the wheel on the flight stick and begins to edge sideways … he should do for jeeps sake, he's handled a ship that could swallow this tin can and not even burp!

Wow, these things are crazy .. hey! Did that one just go past her in the opposite direction?!

umm, well, the skipper looks cool enough … if a man chewing his thumb like he's no longer got a use for it can be termed cool … and what's this handle thing sticking up between them … maybe it's like the warp lever on the ship … shit! Maybe she shouldn't have pulled it … that screeching sound from behind is awful … and what are they suddenly doing spinning round in circles! Woa! She's giddy enough as it is … and why does the Captain look like he's just puked up in his jumpsuit?

Ok, ok, I won't touch anything ... honest Captain Tight Pants … no need to sound so sore, and why's that guy in blue glaring at her and pulling a pad thing from his pocket? They should tell him he looks stoopid with that flat cap on his head …. come to think of it isn't that thing on his shirt like her … what did he call it … her badger? No, no badge! That was it. Oh! Maybe they both belong to the same club.

Oh, so Captain Smarty Pants doesn't want me making eyes at Flat Cap … jealous so-and-so … and why's he taking that bit of paper from Flat Cap? "_Is that a present?_"

Duh! It's bad enough one of them giving her the evil eye, but two of them? Jeez! All she needs is the snakeman and that Espo guy in here with them and they could have a party! Ok, ok, so no more touchy, touchy … just sit here with this belt round my neck and Captain Krusty pants there looking like he'd rather be having sex with a Creaver … talking of which … what's this button on the door for? …


End file.
